Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Ivy League Has the Bomb

Think about it. Millions of bucks in alumni contributions. Some of the finest minds anywhere doing research on campus. Elitists, disgusted with the rest of us. They turn up their noses at our tastes, lifestyles, vocabulary, mismatched clothing, tiny reading lists, our slacker kids, our bunions.
William F. Buckley sneered his way to the top. Who do you think he was sneering at? He chewed on his pen like germs wouldn't dare present themselves in his bubble world. An intellectual dictator with Ivy League-rs as his minions.
Besides the bomb, they probably possess chemical and biological warfare elements.
Targets? Rutgers, Montclair State, all Florida Universities, Wendy's and Burger King, plaid manufacturing, Jerry Lewis.
They'd force us to learn Latin, read Henry James, use long sentences with many dependent clauses, repeat words like nefarious and coagulate.
Demand we have joyless sex.
It's coming, my friends, it is coming.

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