Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Lesbian Question

Why aren't there more lesbians?
I ask this as a proud man who sees the frightening future--men are becoming irrelevant. With artificial insemination, surrogate mothers and adoption you don't need a male significant other to have a child. But it's much more than that. Men are sliding down a steep slope with no way back.
Women are hitting the gym, throwing themselves into Zumba and spin classes, twirling kettle weights, working the hell out of their core. Men are not needed to carry heavy packages. Women executives are stealing our thunder. Female athletes behave more professionally. Ladies can handle more pain; they live longer and maintain their mental capacity far beyond their male counterparts. Take away male celebrity chefs and who cooks better, men or women?
Men have become just as insecure about their appearance, more inclined to give up on a project, needier than they've ever been. Their toenails alone signal approaching extinction.
Women have somehow arranged to have 44% more orgasms during their lifetime. They read more books, understand popular culture, are better salespeople. They smell better and don't scratch as much. Grace is something they effortlessly master. Look at all the female modern dancers compared to the paucity of men.
Most of all, women win 96% of all arguments. Sometimes its vocal volume, sometimes sheer logic and sometimes they just wear us down. Our gender is gradually falling behind in everything, and one can easily see a future with only a handful of guys kept around for their sperm, and maybe to change an occasional light bulb. Don't get me started on the metro sexual,  who is only prolonging the inevitable.

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