Hello? Bristow Furniture? This is Tom Castle.You delivered the wrong furniture. I did not order bamboo chairs. I have no use for a plexiglass hammock. Civilized people do not sit on bamboo. The recliner was supposed to be dark leather. You brought neon pink canvas. I am a masculine fellow. I would have settled for tan.
These futuristic end tables had to be stolen from James Cameron's Id. Who am I speaking to? Put Laurence on the phone. He was my salesman. What do you mean he's not available? Identify yourself. Loretta, Laurence's wife. You kicked him out for flirting at a party. Not my problem. Life changing for you.
Here is what is important. Your men brought me a square, glass topped coffee table. I ordered a rectangular mahogany. Anyone with a square coffee table is suspect. Do not play dumb. Now some guy named Aldo wants my signature. He is unquestionably Mafia. I shake my head, he threatens me with a thick throw rug. Is this how you do business? Listen to me. I have a blog. I can damage your livelihood. If Aldo doesn't back off I will spread rumors your bookcases are infested with termites. Rescind this onslaught of schizophrenic decor or I will start a Twitter account and toss a hissy fit. Although I must say I'm becoming attached to that throw rug. Imported?
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