I planned to go to Philadelphia today. Every April I go for a day. Last year it rained and I stayed home. Today it's cloudy and they predict rain. Since I'll be outdoors for this event I will get wet. It's also kind of chilly.
You see where I'm going with this. I'm looking for excuses not to go to Philly. It's not about Philly, it's about me.
I find I don't want to leave the area anymore. It's too much trouble. A drive to Weehawken, parking in the supermarket lot because the streets are only for their residents. A bus to NY, a walk to Penn Station, buying a ticket that gets more expensive every year. Then it's the 80 minute train ride, the walk from the station to the event, waiting in line for a ticket, which also gets more expensive each year, and finally the event itself. I know I'll be checking the clock outside, counting the minutes until I can return home.
Even at plays and movies, I keep checking my watch. It's not like I have a family at home. Sure, I write and paint and read, but I can always find time for that. I guess as I get older I increasingly crave more time alone with my thoughts. Or perhaps my imagination. I have grown to accept my inner monologue. In fact, I'm finding my inner world more entertaining than what is out there. And much cheaper. I have to decide in the next few minutes whether I'm going to Philly. Looks like a cloudy, chilly day. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Philly will be there next year.
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