Sunday, June 17, 2012

Bossy Pants

This was Lisa's first day as Principal and she was upset. Chaos in the schoolyard, kids running around out of control, teachers helpless. She had to take charge.
"All children must cease running and yelling, line up by height. Posture straight, eyes focused. I am your Principal and I am in charge."
Just then her cell rang.
"Yes, mom, I'm fine. My first day. I am wearing comfortable shoes. I did have a good bowel movement. I used antiperspirant. I smell really good. I am not being sarcastic, mom. I'm in the middle of something. Yes, I brushed my hair, fifty strokes, each side, straight part. My stockings have no tears. I have to go. Please don't call. I'm just fine."
Lisa clicked off. "Get those heads up! Get ready to learn. You will not disgrace my school."
Her phone rang again. It was mom. The children heard Lisa curse.
"Don't forget you're lactose intolerant, dear."
"Yes, mom."

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