This is So Wrong

Farina needs to be respected Gretchen. My mother loved farina. Stop it right now. I let you do that with oatmeal because oatmeal is NOT farina.
This is sacrilegious. Pouring hot farina onto my...OW! I am in agony! Applying nutritious cereal to my...ow, ow, ow! I command you to cease immediately. Oh, the exquisite pain, the guilt, the humiliation, the absolute stickiness.
Farina foreplay is something we needed to discuss.
As much as I respect your creativity, I simply...what is that you're carrying? Loosen these bonds! I see steam coming from that bowl. Enough is enough. No, it can't be. You wouldn't. Yes, I am aroused, that's obvious. But this crosses into savagery, subhuman practices, bestial. Not even Rain Forest tribes would...please stop. God. Lentil soup in my navel. The shame!  Splashing across my chest, flowing down to my nether regions. You wanton hedonist! Gretchen, this is SO wrong. And so undercooked. If we're going to do this, let's do it right.