Friday, June 8, 2012

Weight Allowance

If you wish to associate with my circle you must bring weighty thoughts to the menu. We are engorged with gravitas. Our insights go deep; perceptions, ideas, concepts and opinions are literally ground shaking. You must deliver gray matter of that magnitude or be gone to a Judd Apatow movie.
No pop culture references (ignore above), no fragments, no rambling, no jargon. We speak in complete sentences, stick to the point, make full use of the vocabulary at our fingertips. We are weighty people, bursting with self importance. Dare you enter our bubble without creating a rippling impact and you shall be smote down with vigilance.
Only those who speak English as a second language get a break.
Is that clear? Well then, have a seat and prepare to engage. Tonight's topic: What exactly happens to dust when you shake out your dust mop?
Hands, please. We'll go in order.

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