Sometimes I feel lonely in a crowd, especially surrounded by others who lack that swarthy, mysterious look I possess. Too often, when I'm invited to someone's home, I find myself in the corner watching others effortlessly kibitzing. This is something I've never mastered, despite spending hours practicing with my hand puppets.
I was really uncomfortable at Easter when my friend Irma invited me to her annual Eater egg coloring session. There's always a table full of delicious food and drink, but try as I might to mingle, I wind up in the cramped egg coloring room, feebly attempting to ward off isolation.
Last year I was near despair when suddenly I felt myself lifted right out of my chair and forcefully thrown to the floor. Before I could react, I was twisted into a cradle position by someone who yanked my left knee up to my chin and thrust my head forward. I screamed and the perpetrator released me. When I caught my breath, I looked up and saw Irma herself standing above me, hands on hips, smiling beatifically.
"I sensed you weren't connecting with the others and I detest people isolating themselves at my events. I've also been taking self defense courses, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Proceed with your coloring."
It worked. I snapped out of my shyness, ate, drank and laughed. My Ukrainian inspired eggs looked more like a child's finger painting, but, hey, who's judging?
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