Monday, February 13, 2012

Carbon Monoxide

So I return home after being out all day and my carbon monoxide detector is beeping. I pull it out from the wall and it says right on the back to call the fire department immediately and find fresh air. I fling open the window and try not to panic. It is Sunday night and snow is falling. Maybe it will stop by itself. I wait a few minutes. It keeps beeping. I could be breathing in poison. I call 911 and am transferred to the FD. I explain what happened and am assured they'll be right there.
I decide to wait outside. A minute later I hear sirens that sound like they are approaching. Then they trail off and my biggest fear is realized--the firemen are completely lost. My condo is very difficult to reach. I won't go into details, but every repair person or salesman with an appointment has gotten lost. I pace back and forth until I hear the sirens getting louder again. I run to the corner and see a small fire SUV. Waving frantically, I get his attention and before long large firemen are tramping through my place, checking my stove.
The first guy checks the monitor and promptly informs me it has expired. This happens all the time, he says, and is probably the reason it's beeping. This is confirmed moments later by the guy holding the meter, which shows a big, fat zero. I'm happy, but embarrassed. My other monitor is five years old, also due for replacement. I go to home Depot next morning and shell out $45 for two detectors.
Now I'm wondering if my thought processes have been affected by silent, odorless, tasteless carbon monoxide poisoning. Insidious, that's what this is. I'm just glad there were no dirty dishes in the sink, allowing me a smidgeon of face saving.

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