Saturday, February 4, 2012

Fumbling An Opportunity

Seated across from me in the airport waiting room was film director David Cronenberg, creator of some of the edgiest movies of our time. For a man who wrote Twilight People-Switchblade Stories, edgy flash fiction, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had a copy with me as luck would have it, and, as intimidated as I was, I had to introduce myself. Getting this man to turn my stories into films was my dream.
So I did.
"Excuse me, Mr. Cronenberg, I don't wish to disturb you, but I'm a big fan, a huge admirer of your work."
He looked down and saw my book.
He frowned. "I must ask you to step away from me immediately, sir. I have had the unfortunate experience of reading the book you are now holding. I found it to be the sickest, most despicable collection of demented slasher porn fiction I have ever read. I do not wish to interact with anyone perverted enough to consume such garbage. I shudder to imagine what kind of diseased mind created this cesspool of words."
With that, he grabbed his briefcase and stormed away.
It took me minutes to recover. Then I looked at the up side. Perhaps Ron Howard is looking for a change of direction. My stories await, Mr. Howard.

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