Sunday, February 26, 2012

Compost Heap

There is an art to compost heaps. For a while they were out of fashion, but with the increase of disposable garbage, folks are seeking constructive, environmentally supportive means of disposing of junk.
Each compost heap is different in its own way. I can only provide the ingredients I used in mine to give you an example.
I include the following: sweat drenched yoga mats, globs of lip silicone, Kevin Spacey's hairpiece in American Beauty, several plaid flannel shirts I used to wear in tough sections of Jersey City, poodle poop from the upper East Side, Jackie Collins entire body of work, spoiled squash, hoodie footie pajamas, Huggs boots, an old videotape of Chevy Chase's short lived talk show, Jennifer Lopez's used Spanx, smoked pork in lard, defective cell phones, ancient pagers, Reese Witherspoon's discarded hair extensions, and a large portion of my late Aunt Louise, who swore no one would put her six feet under. Well, she's two feet under Joni Mitchell's paintings, which I insanely purchased in bulk from a warehouse some years ago. This is why I'll never be an investment counselor.
My compost heap does what it is supposed to do. How many of us can say the same?

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