I have become a free movie junkie, mostly at libraries. It is out of control. I travel from library to library, sometimes taking their popcorn without leaving a donation. My travels cover days and nights. I have been ignoring friends and my reading groups, not shaving or eating right.
You see, I refuse to pay for movies anymore. When Judd Apatow's films began dominating the market I threw in the towel as a paying customer. But I'm all in when it comes to freebies and for months I've been a glutton. I get there early, grab a seat in the last row near the door in case I have to pee, twiddle my thumbs until the lights go down. I shut off my cell, cut myself off from everyone. Yesterday I saw an old Doris Day movie with Jack Carson and Oscar Levant, who smoked incessantly and could really play the piano. Last week I finally caught up with Double Indemnity, stunned at how evil Fred McMurray and Barbara Stanwyck were. Today I saw Delta Force, exploding more blood than Nick Cage's recent films. And I just left Woody's Midnight in Paris. Tomorrow it's Niagara in the afternoon, followed by My Day With Orson Welles in the evening, all at different libraries full of really old people, some of whom talk to themselves.
I'll say this--Doris Day had some figure and Rachel McAdams in jeans stacks up nicely against Biel, Alba and Lopez. Culture. Ain't it great?
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