Hugo's yard sales are always a rich experience. The variety amazes me. I had a larger budget than last year and went right to work picking and choosing. Here is my booty for 2012.
A theorist to provide the kind of deep intellectual discourse I deserve.
A dominatrix for when I'm bad and need to be punished.
A third world gardener who doesn't speak English and can't ask for a cost of living raise.
A handyman to fix whatever gets broken because I'm tool kit challenged.
A Slavic cook who can also serve as my bodyguard.
An exotic dancer to make me feel rejuvenated after the dominatrix has punished me.
A depressed poet who makes me feel better about my life.
A man who does vivid impressions of dictators.
A sad looking Asian man who sits with his legs crossed and may have the secret to life.
A magician and his female assistant, who wears slightly torn black stockings
and a Spandex costume, which leads to impure thoughts and more punishment.
Everything goes in circles. I'm still looking for a contortionist, preferably female. Connect the dots.
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